When elderly parents are frail and failing, families often face difficulties handling the situation. Family estrangements are common. Mediation can help you sort through the issues, arrive at mutually agreable solutions and preserve relationships.

Dealing With Major Family Transitions

How Can Mediation Help?

A mediator can help elders and their families deal effectively with tough questions and a maze of options and choices which arise as parents and loved ones age. Questions such as where to live and under what circumstances? How will needed services be paid for? Is it OK for Mom or Dad to continue driving? Who will be the substitute decision maker? When is the proper time to consider this question? What other legal procedures should be considered? By helping sort through the maze and providing needed information regarding options and resources, or calling on other professionals as needed, mediators can help make this transition smoother while preserving family relationships.

Mediators provide a structured process and a “safe” space for each party's views to be heard. By managing the process, the impartial facilitator (the mediator) allows family members to face disagreements, hear what is important to each individual, find common ground, and brainstorm new creative solutions that attempt to meet everyone's interests. Even if the outcome is the same as one proposed by an advisor to begin with, the process of listening, clarifying needs and concerns, and searching for mutually agreeable solutions can smooth the way for easier family interactions in the future.

Key Principles of Elder Mediation

Mediators are mindful of the following principles to be upheld :

• Confidentiality
• Voluntary participation
• Mediator impartiality
• Informed consent
• Self determination

Dealing with Complexity

While the issue might look simple enough on the surface, this is not always the case. Consider the following:

• Rarely is there only one issue involved
• There is inherent tension between issues of dependence versus independence
• Multiple parties are often involved in decisions
• Decision-making difficulty and conflict may arise in many ways
• Waiting too long can lead to crisis mode decision-making.

For experienced, professional help call to book an exploratory first consultation.